Dear Newt Gingrich:
The boys and I tossed back a few the other night and came up with a totally outlandish concept, one of those this-is-so-strange-it-might-work types – and it still sounded great the next morning while we sucked the tomato juice and applied the ice packs. So sit down. There’s gotta be something to it. Grab a paper bag for possible hyperventilation.
You ready? Here goes: Intellectual honesty.
I know. I was stunned myself. But think of it: Right now, you’re obviously marshaling your considerable intellectual power merely to position yourself and demonize President Obama. That means he must always be wrong and you must always be right, which puts you in a pickle when he eventually adopts your policy. Take the past few weeks. You urged him to send the planes over Libya and said ground troops would be unnecessary. I guess Obama didn’t read his lines in your script, because he did it – which left you in a mess. What to do? You reversed yourself, apparently forgetting that the cameras had been rolling. It’s all Youtube’s fault.
But here’s where that intellectual honesty thing comes into play: You actually use that powerful brain of yours to articulate what you really believe. You take your stance because you think it’s the right course. You don’t position yourself against someone else; you create a position and argue it.
I know. It all sounds so … scandalous. Downright upsetting, even. But the fellas and I get it now: Let your yes be yes and your no be no is good stuff (Matthew 5:37). If anything, it means you won’t have to rack your brain, trying to remember what you said a couple weeks back – and let’s face it, neither of us is getting any younger. The memory ain’t what it used to be, as we can see in this video: